


Lay Me Down

by LaFortunaVelutLuna



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Homophobia, M/M, The 2016 Orlando Shooting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 07:39:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7926256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaFortunaVelutLuna/pseuds/LaFortunaVelutLuna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While researching mundane gay clubs, Alec comes across the news of the 2016 Orlando Shooting. Can Magnus comfort his boyfriend?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lay Me Down

**Author's Note:**

> Title is based on the song Lay Me Down by Sam Smith
> 
> I started this fic when I first heard about the massacre and only just managed to finish it. Dedicated to anyone who has felt the sting of hatred in any form: you are not a freak, you do not deserve to be treated any differently, and you are not alone. 

Magnus tip-toed through the halls of The Institute like an intruder, completely ignoring the fact that his presence had been requested by the younger female Lightwood. Izzy had called him, obviously trying to keep the nervousness out of her voice while she asked for his help. Still, the warlock did his best to keep quiet as he made his way to Alec's room, worried that even the slightest sound on his part would waken any number of snoozing Shadowhunters- and soon enough finding himself at the wrong end of a seraph blade.

"Magnus?"

His head whipped around at the sound of a familiar voice. "Isabelle?"

"Hey," she whispered, leaning in for a hug.

The older man was surprised by her affectionate welcome but he embraced her all the same, now nervous.

"Izzy, why do I get the feeling that something is wrong?"

The brunette looked sad, her shoulders slumping. "Because, there is. You see Alec is... I don't know. He was acting kind of nervous today- not surprising considering he was planning your next date but then something happened. I'm not sure what but he shut down, finished his work and ran into his room. Now he won't come out and he won't answer me and I'm worried!"

"He hasn't been harmed has he?" Magnus asked, quickly.

"No, at least I don't think so" Izzy replied, honestly "He didn't looked hurt, he just seemed kind of... spooked or traumatized. The last time I saw him like that was the day we went hunting with another team- we were only about fourteen or so, and one of the other hunters got hurt. He had to have his leg amputated and Alec looked haunted for weeks. It was a long time ago, but I don't want him to go through that kind of agony again"

The warlock patted her shoulder affectionately. "Let me talk to him and I'll see what I can do"

Isabelle gave him a grateful smile and began walking toward her bedroom, her high heels clicking against the tile and soon giving way to silence. The warlock mulled over her words as he considered what could have happened; was it Maryse? Had she said or done something to attack her son again? Did they have disappointing news about Jace? Was something going on with Lydia back in Idris? The more he thought about, the worse the scenarios in his head became and soon spiraled out of control. He shook his head and steadied himself, determined to be strong for younger man. 

Magnus knocked gently on the archer's door. "Alexander?"

Soft, quiet footsteps reached the other side of the threshold and the door opened a crack.

"Magnus?" he asked, voice filled with hope.

The warlock nodded with a kind smile. "It's me. May I come in?"

Alec stepped aside and allowed the other man into his room, softly closing his door with a kind of finality. The hunter shifted his weight from foot to foot, the bottoms of his pajama's grazing his ankles with a familiar tickle while he gripped the edge of his shirt into white knuckles. Magnus observed this but thought best to keep calm; he was on Alec's turf after all.

"May I sit?" he asked, gesturing to the bed.

The younger man nodded, watching the Asian rest himself on the foot of the duvet- soon joining him.

"Alec, is something going on?" Magnus asked, reaching for his hand.

The warlock was more than surprised when the soldier allowed it and was even more surprised when his hand was squeezed for comfort.

"Alexander, please talk to me" he begged "Isabelle called and begged me to come over only to inform me that you have not been yourself and refused to speak to anyone" 

Alec chewed his lip and avoided looking into the other man's eyes. "They wouldn't understand..."

"Understand what? How can I help?"

Hazel eyes were focused on their joined hands, relishing in this rare moment of peace between the two of them.

"I was planning our date" Alec began, sounding distant "I wanted to go somewhere different- somewhere we had never been and somewhere that I knew you would like. We've done dinner and a movie, stayed in and cuddled, portaled to different parts of the world and seen different landmarks and what not. But I wanted to do something for you, something I knew you would like so I... I thought about clubs. I know how much you love Pandemonium; the lights, the music, the drinks, the dancing, the excess- I thought we could go to a club together. A mundane club, one where we wouldn't have to worry about being recognized and stared at."

Magnus smiled. "And?"

Alec looked up at him; his beautiful eyes were awash with tears- the product of confusion, sadness, regret, anger and fear. He didn't understand- how could he understand!

"I found this" the archer replied, handing Magnus an iPad.

The warlock took it from him, confused; even though Shadowhunters were admittedly high tech, none of their devices had an internet connection. And judging by the comic book themed cover, he was willing to bet that Simon had lent Alec his device for his research. Magnus turned the iPad on and realized what had pushed the man he loved into a spiral. In the search bar 'gay club' had been entered and below it were a multitude of articles regarding the mass killing at the Orlando nightclub.

"Mundanes... they did this" Alec stated, his voice sounding shaky "A mundane who claimed to be doing this for God killed a bunch of people- people like us! Just because of the way that we are..."

Magnus sighed; he had heard about what had happened, though it clearly hadn't shaken him as much as much as it did Alec.

"Yes, unfortunately that is true" he admitted "This wasn't the first time and it certainly won't be the last"

Alec squeezed his hand tighter, desperate for understanding. "But- but you said that things were different out there! You said that there are men who dress even more flamboyantly than you! You said that there are men who pretend to be women for fun and people enjoy their shows, that there parades and months dedicated to embracing different kinds of sexuality, you said that people were more accepting out there than the Clave!"

"I said some, Alexander" the warlock reminded him, wrapping his arms around the shaking Shadowhunter.

The soldier never cried, he hated to cry and did his best to avoid doing so in front of others. But just for this moment, Alec allowed his tears to fall freely as Magnus held him close and rocked his body back and forth. The warlock waited until the younger man had let it all out before leaned back and away, taking in the sight of the poor and almost naive man in front of him.

"Things can be wonderful in the mundane world, that much is true. There ARE drag shows, and pride month and parades and even movies and shows that depict relationships like ours. But the fact is that just because it exists and can be celebrated, there are also people out there who hate it. People who use flimsy excuses to hate and degrade those who are different, those who can't help what and who they are."

Magnus sighed and went back to those millennia of memories that had been buried over time.

"For every drag show I've seen, I can tell you about a friend that was verbally abused for their identity. For every lover I've taken, man or woman or anything in between, I can tell you about the painful way that they died at the hands of someone who couldn't bear the thought of anyone different. This isn't new, Alexander- not to humankind or the Nephilim, you're just more aware of it now."

Alec sniffled and played with a stray thread on his pajama bottoms. "Tell me, tell me about someone."

"Gregor; he was the kindest man I'd had the privilege of meeting in over a decade. He was German and very, very gay- as gay as rainbow glitter socks during pride weekend"

Despite the atmosphere, Alec still laughed at the thought.

"The war had just ended and Gregor had done very well for himself, selling extra ration books and spreading his wealth to everybody he met. He wasn't a greedy man and would never hurt anyone; he was just a decent guy who wanted to enjoy his life while he was still young. Unfortunately, a German in an allied country and a gay one at the that... I heard of his murder through the newspaper, he had been beaten and mutilated so badly that they couldn't tell whether he was a man or a woman."

Alec whimpered at the thought. "But-but that was decades ago"

"Hatred doesn't dissolve, Alexander" Magnus admitted, mournfully "It just evolves into something else; it used to be Christians that were thrown into a lion pit for entertainment, then it was the witches that were burned at the stake, after that it was Jews who were went to concentration camps, then it was the African American's who were being hanged, and now it happens to be people like us. Those who were born this way and can't change anymore than black person can shed their skin."

"So what do we do? Hide?"

Magnus smiled and shook his head. "We live. I keep wearing what I do and you keep loving men- we keep being who we really are and they won't be able to stop us. Why, just yesterday I saw two women kissing in the training room. Do you know what that means?"

"That as head of the Institute, I have to integrate stricter policies regarding amorous contact in public?"

He rolled his eyes. "No, you fool! It means you started something: you were one of the first people brave enough to stand up to a age old institution of what the Nephilim 'should' be. You chose a man- a warlock at that! And now, more people will start to find their own bravery, to be true to themselves and to stand up for who they are- and slowly, the Clave will be begin to accept it, just as the rest of the world will one day"

"I don't know about that; the Clave isn't too happy with me right now and my parents are keeping me at arms length"

"And eventually they will die- sorry but it's true. Your parents will die along with every member of the Clave and a new generation will take over, and soon enough- nobody will bat at eyelash at the lesbian couple walking through Idris holding hands. Or the gay couple that adopted two orphans and are raising them as their own. It starts with one, Alec"

The soldier shivered. "But- but what if.. what if something like that shooting happens here? Or in Idris?"

"I doubt it, dumpling" Magnus admitted "You Nephilim are so damn arrogant, it would be below any Shadowhunter to kill another for such a petty reason. Trust me on this one; especially when it's only Downworlder's who are slaves to their emotions and desires. And besides, if anybody tries to point out how 'unatural' it is- you can point out the rationale to any sexuality, gay or otherwise"

"What do you mean?" Alec asked, confused.

"Well, there are some anthropologists and scientists who have theories as to why certain people are wired differently" Magnus elaborated "For example, gay and lesbian couples can't physically bear children, correct? Well, that picks up the slack from the straight people who don't or can't raise their kids, the gays can take over! Asexuals? They can help by preventing overpopulation. Bi's, like myself and pans? Being able to take any partner increases the chance of a wider gene pool and the prevention of disease while also limiting aggression by the way of sexual release. Polyamorous, people? Shoot! If one partner dies, you already have another waiting! Shall I go on?" 

Alec laughed. "You're giving me enough logic to shut my mother up the next time she wants to drag this out."

"I'm happy to hear it, Alexander" he admitted, pushing the iPad to the side "But for now, let's put all of this to the side, okay?"

"Cuddle?" the Shadowhunter asked, reaching his arms out.

The warlock kicked off his shoes and lied back, embracing his boyfriend and choosing to end the night of a happy note.

"Shall I tell you the craziness that happened in Peru during the mid 1900s? It involves a very talented transgender Carnivale dancer and an embarrassingly closeted town mayor that wasn't aware of the use of modern sex toys."

Alec smiled into his boyfriend's chest. "Go on..."


End file.
